


i had it all planned out before you met me

by ImSoSupernova



Category: SKAM (Spain)
Genre: Birthday, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-24 03:06:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19714990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImSoSupernova/pseuds/ImSoSupernova
Summary: Joana talks with Cris about what her eighteenth birthday means to her.





	i had it all planned out before you met me

**Author's Note:**

> hi y'all!!! happy birthday to joana!!
> 
> title of this fic comes from the song die young by sylvan esso. i hope you enjoy!

“Joana...Joana, wake up.”

Joana feels something poke against her cheek. She groans, and turns herself over, burying her face in her pillow.

“Joanaaaaa…”

She feels a gentle push against her shoulder, and hears a soft giggle. “Come on, Sleeping Beauty. Wake up.”

Joana groans and rolls her eyes as she opens them. “I’m awake, I’m awake.”

She sits up straighter as she realizes what she’s seeing. Cris, sitting cross-legged above her on her bed, holding a plate with a small, purple-frosted cupcake on it. “Cris?” Joana asks. “What is this?”

Cris rolls her eyes.  _ “What is this?”  _ she mocks. “It’s your  _ birthday _ , is what it is! Happy birthday, babe! You’re 18!”

“Shit.” Joana looks up at her calendar. “You’re right. That  _ is  _ today.”

Cris nods vigorously. “Thus...cupcake!” She holds out her plate eagerly. There’s something a bit fixed about her smile this time. Joana can tell she’s probably confused, wondering why Joana’s not reacting correctly to this whole event. Joana’s wondering that herself, to be honest.

Joana looks down at it, at the little confetti cupcake with its messy swirled frosting, the same color as her hair. She feels an odd tightness in her throat as she looks back up at Cris, at the love and care and concern in her eyes as she begins to slowly lower the plate. 

“No!” Joana reaches out to catch her arm quickly. “Don’t--thank you, seriously. I--I love it. I love  _ you. _ So much. I just--wasn’t expecting this, that’s all.”

Cris’s bright smile fades as she gives her an understanding nod. She leans over to tuck a strand of hair behind Joana’s ear. “I love you, Joana,” she murmurs. “I love you yesterday, and the day before that, and tomorrow, and the day after that. And you  _ bet  _ that I’m going to love you on your birthday. I’m going to make this cupcake for  _ you _ , and I’m gonna come all the way here to see  _ you _ . Cause I  _ love _ you, Joana Bianchi Acosta.” She takes Joana’s hands. “Okay?”

Joana feels that tightness in her throat again, welling up so intensely that she can barely get out the word, “Okay.”

Cris leans over to kiss Joana, and Joana pulls her close. But that tightness is still there, and before she knows it, tears are spilling out her eyes, falling down her face, and all of a sudden, she realizes why.

“What?” Cris asks, pulling back in concern. “What’s wrong, babe?”

Joana sniffs, and wipes her nose. “I just--” she whispers, “when I was growing up, ever since I got diagnosed, I always kinda assumed that I would just--die young, you know? Somehow, either by me or some other reason, I--I wasn’t gonna make it. I never--I never really dreamed that I would turn 18. And so...being here now, making it this far...with you here, this beautiful girl of my dreams who loves me…I never believed this could happen.” Joana looks up and beams at Cris. “But it’s real.  _ You’re  _ real. I--I never thought I would say this, but I’m so,  _ so  _ fucking lucky.”

Cris is tearing up a bit too now, and Joana feels upset that she’s made her sad now too. But then she smiles, and pulls Joana into another hug, and the feeling dissipates. “I’m so happy you’re here,” she whispers into her ear. “I wouldn’t change any of this-- _ any  _ of this for the world.”

Joana beams, and leans back so she can kiss her girlfriend. And in that moment, everything is perfect, and she’s 18 years old, legally an adult now, and the happiest she’s ever been.

“Now, let’s try your cupcake!” she teases when they finally come up for air.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> hmu on tumblr @bijoanabianchi!! <3


End file.
